As the holidays pass and I pack away the decorations, slowly work through all the leftovers and special treats, and put my household back to “normal”, I often grow melancholy. Do you? There are so many activities in my family in December. We celebrate six birthdays in addition to Christmas and the calendar is full of celebrations. I look forward to this month so much even though my pocketbook empties.
When I feel a sense of loss and my condo looks bare and sad, I begin to visualize activities that I want to plan to give me something to look forward to. For me, it is important to have a happy reason to start the day, to give my life purpose. I start thinking of new year resolutions. Sometimes my resolutions are personal and sometimes they involve others or even the world.
For example, you might visualize how you will look when you lose those extra holiday pounds, or what you will do on that special vacation, or how you will create more special family times. You may set specific goals—personal, family, and business—but rarely do you and I think about what we can do for the world.
Last night I attended a presentation by Jane Goodall. What an inspiration! Of course, she talked about her beloved chimpanzees and shared the humble beginning of a lifetime of study of the chimps and their environment. She sadly told us how acres and acres of forests were destroyed in Africa but joyfully how conservationists, some just children, are slowly bringing them back. She challenged each of us to do more. “Together we can, together we will, together we must!”, she had us chant.
When I hear a great speech, I become very introspective and think of other great challenges in the world. The one that has been shared over and over through the years is world peace. What a lofty goal! But just as taking care of our environment begins with us, so does world peace. It begins with us in our families, our communities, our businesses, and our countries.
I am sad to share that some of my family and families of dear friends have chosen to estrange themselves and that is so very hard, especially this time of year. Through research I know that we are not alone. Maybe you are suffering too. It has also caused me to spend time in self-contemplation and I realize that I am not without blame.
And so that brings me to the subject of peace. I would love nothing more than to have peace in my family. In a broader perspective, wouldn’t you like to have peace in our communities and between countries so that violence is reduced? What a toll our anger takes! What would it take to have peace?
First, each of us needs to be willing to make some changes. That is scary. I will be the first to allow that what you feel is what you feel, and your feelings must be respected. However, if we truly want to attain peace, it means giving up the idea that I am “right”, and you are “wrong”.
Perhaps the breakdown that follows may help:
P is for positivity. No matter what happens it is important to remain optimistic. A resolution is possible. It is a matter of willingness of all parties to seek peace. That point may not come as soon as you want, or it may come in a way that is entirely impossible to predict. Believe!
E is for eagerness. If peace is your goal, then you will look for ways to make it happen. You may have to think outside the box. A good place to start is to put yourself in the place of the other party. I spent one afternoon writing the history of my relationship with one of the estranged parties and it was revealing. I could see how actions may have been interpreted differently than my intent. What a revelation!
A is for acceptance. Acceptance means you accept the current situation as it is, not what you would like it to be (although that vision may help propel you forward). Nor do you dwell on what happened in the past because it cannot be changed. It is history.
C is for contrition. Contrition is defined as the state of feeling remorseful and penitent. Many religions include this as the first step in healing. You accept that you had a part in the creation of the situation even if you do not know what it is but, and this is most important—you forgive yourself and all those involved.
E is for energy and expectation. You will need energy to move forward. Establishing peace may take many attempts and failures, but if it is what you truly want, you will not give up. Expectation of a positive outcome is crucial. It will propel you forward and give you hope.
My wish for each of you is a peace full new year! I hope this will be your best year yet!
~Beverly J Bowers, CFP®
My book for beginning investors, How to Dress a Naked Portfolio, continues to rack up awards! Perhaps increasing your financial intelligence is one of your new year resolutions?
